Belonging Read online

  With my fingers fidgeting at my sides, I mentally deliberated for a few seconds. Remembering Sam’s smirking face each time he’d seen me dressed Amish decided it for me. I’d skip the hug and ease him off the hook gradually.

  When I glanced to the side, Hunter was beside me, close enough for passersby to assume we were a couple. Funny thing was, Sam had taken up the same possessive stance next to Summer.

  “Yeah, actually, it was all my idea,” he said, all full of himself.

  “Oh, shut up. It might have been your plan, but I’m the one who had to put up with two hours of being trapped in the truck with you to get here,” Summer told Sam, with hands on her hips and eyes flashing.

  Instead of Sam making a sarcastic comeback, he just smiled and said, “And I’m so happy you graced me with your presence.”

  Summer was at a loss for words, which was cute, because I didn’t think that happened to her often.

  I decided that I’d had enough of the guys invading our feminine reunion. While they swatted each other in a friendly greeting, I grabbed Summer’s hand and pulled her toward the tables and chairs with the view.

  “You guys can start on the slopes without us. We got some serious catching up to do,” I said.

  “I’m not skiing, anyways,” Summer blurted out.

  “At all?” I couldn’t hide my confusion.

  Sam filled me in. “She only came up here to see you, Rose. Even though I offered to pay for her rental and give her a private ski lesson, she told me, ah, something to the effect that she’d rather get rolled down the mountainside naked before she’d put those glorified pencils on her feet. You can try to change her mind, though.”

  Sam was smiling fondly at Summer—again setting off signals in my head. He really did have it bad for her.

  “Don’t even bother with it, Rose. I meant what I told him.” Summer’s body and voice were stiffened with resolve.

  Strangely, I looked to Hunter for—God knows what—and he said to me, “Don’t worry about the rental. Just have a good time with your friend. I want you to have great day.” He smiled before he left with Sam to attack the mountainside.

  Did he really want me to be happy, or was he just an excellent actor, trying to get me into a compromising situation?

  Only time would tell.

  “He’s yummy,” Summer said. “I’ve always thought so—and he’s never been rude to me, either.”

  I swatted her on the arm and laughed. It was so wonderful to have her there in the flesh.

  “Come on. Let’s get a hot chocolate and find a seat where we can watch the guys coming down the hill,” I said.

  Summer mumbled something about not caring to see Sam at all, but she went with me, anyway, for the drinks and then let me pick the seating arrangement.

  Sipping from my cup, I studied the girl before me. She was still full of vinegar, telling me all about life back in Meadowview with her colorful country twang going on. I also couldn’t help noticing her wide-eyed interest in everything going on around her.

  “Is this the first time you’ve been to a ski resort?”

  “Course it is. I’ve never been able to afford anything like this before,” Summer said as she searched the hillside intently. I knew she’d never admit it, but I would have bet money that she was looking for Sam.

  “Why don’t you let Sam treat you, then? From what Dad says, he’s making pretty good money working part-time at Lowes now.”

  “No way am I going to let your brother think that I owe him something. I only agreed to come on this trip to see you,” Summer said briskly and then dropped her eyes, becoming suddenly mesmerized by the hot liquid in her cup.

  I thought for a minute and said, “You know, I wasn’t sure before, but now I feel completely safe in saying that Sam has fallen hard for you. Maybe you should give him a chance...he’s not that bad.”

  “What about you and Mr. Sexy out there. Are you two an item yet?” Summer turned the tables.

  “No. We’re just friends.”

  “Why? I only saw the guy with you for a minute, and it was obvious that he’s madly in love.” Summer giggled after she said it. The sound irritated me.

  “I don’t have feelings for him, that’s why.”

  “Yes, you do. Don’t lie to me, Rose.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “First off, you wouldn’t have come up here to spend the day with the guy if you weren’t into him. Second, he’s gorgeous and sweet-natured, so why the hell not give him a go?”

  Summer’s eyes narrowed, and she held my gaze.

  She had me. I said with defeat in my voice, “Guess for the same reason you won’t take a chance on Sam.”

  “Why’s that?” Summer’s voice lowered, threateningly. She was waiting for some earth-shattering proclamation, but she would be disappointed.

  “Because neither one of us want to get hurt.” I looked out the window at the dots of people sailing down the white slopes. Admitting what I knew in my heart all along to Summer made me feel a little better.

  She nodded her head in agreement. “Yep, I understand your situation and all—being so bound up with Noah, just to have him turn on you like a copperhead would sour any girl on men. But I don’t reckon I know why I feel the way I do.”

  The fact that she’d mentioned Noah and I wasn’t crying was a good thing. Out of everyone in the world I knew, only Summer, and maybe Sam, wasn’t going to pussyfoot around his name.

  “Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I asked Summer. At one time I would have been expecting her to say dozens, but now I wasn’t so sure.

  “Oh, I’ve had a few hand-holding and peck-on-the-cheek sorts of things going on, but never a real boyfriend.”

  “But you’re so pretty and smart and fun to be with. Surely the guys are hitting on you all the time—right?”

  She was thoughtful for a minute, and after she took a swig of her drink, she said, “Umm, yeah, guys have come on to me and all, but I guess I don’t want to end up like my ma.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Summer’s eyes passed over me and settled on the people coming and going at the entranceway. It was obviously a difficult conversation for her, so I waited quietly for her to continue.

  “Mama’s been married two times and had more boyfriends than I can count on both my hands. She can never seem to find one that’ll stick around for long. They come in and promise her the world and then they fly the coop. Maybe I learned from her to be leery of the opposite sex.”

  That made perfect sense. I suddenly felt better that she’d confided in me. It was easier to solve a problem when you knew what it was.

  “Summer, listen to me. Your mom might have had all those bad relationships, because she’s the one with the issues, not the guys,” I suggested.

  “Huh?”

  “Seriously, you are not your mom. She’s made decisions that affected her relationships, but you don’t have to follow in her path.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing—not following Mama’s lead,” Summer protested.

  “Right, you shouldn’t be dating a bunch of guys just to have a boyfriend around. That would be stupid. But to give a guy like Sam—who’s really into you—a chance is something altogether different.”

  Summer’s eyes stared into mine, her jaw set firmly, until a crooked smile crept up the side of her mouth. The look made me sit back, knowing that Summer’s bright mind had just thought of something—and that I should be worried.

  “Okay, miss Dear Abby.” Her smile was definitely wicked now. “I’ll give Sam a chance if you give that hunk of sugar out there the opportunity to rub Noah from your mind.”

  “I don’t even think about Noah anymore,” I lied.

  “Yeah, right.”

  I sighed, and as if God had just sent me a sign, I spotted Hunter in his green jacket making his way down the advanced slope. I watched him swish and bend to have a perfect run, before turning back to Summer’s smirking face.

  S
he and Sam would be perfect together—and it seemed the only way that was going to happen was if I turned the tables on her and accepted her proposal. Besides, saying that I would make the effort was very different from actually hooking up with Hunter. I had no intention of dating anyone, but I could put on a little act for Summer’s benefit in order to get her to open up to Sam. They’d be happily dating in no time, and Hunter would be just a memory in my life. Summer would thank me someday for my ruse.

  “Okay, but on one other condition,” I purred.

  Summer exhaled, sitting up straighter. Disbelief peppered her features.

  “What?” she said hesitantly.

  “That you get your butt out there on the bunny hill and let me teach you how to ski.”

  Summer took a short minute to decide. Her worried look slowly changed into one of anticipation, and she said, “Ooookay. But you better not laugh at me.”

  I shook my head vigorously. “I promise I won’t.”

  I had my fingers crossed under the table, though.

  “Cause if you do, you’ll be eating snow. And I keep my promises.”

  For the first time in forever I felt alive—and free of worry and doubt. I was being a kid again.

  And maybe it was worth losing Noah for.

  27

  Noah

  I leaned up against the wall, watching the guys go at it on the makeshift basketball court in the Schrocks’ gathering building. Sweat still sealed the shirt I was wearing to my skin from the hour or so that I’d been out there.

  Shifting my eyes without moving my head, I kept a watch on Constance, who was hanging out with Sarah and Maretta just a few yards away.

  Timmy and Matthew had already left with their girlfriends, and I was deeply satisfied that earlier, when the gang had all been present, Constance had stayed cemented to my sister’s side. The new girl didn’t show any interest in the two rebel girls, even though they’d tried to prod her for information with false friendliness.

  Suzanna and Miranda were solidly on Rose’s side, and I doubted that they’d want to hang out with a goody-girl like Constance. And she had shown common sense by picking up on the undercurrent going on.

  I’d also been impressed that Constance kept a low profile, smiling and answering in a friendly manner when spoken to, but not going out of her way to bring attention to herself.

  Again, I couldn’t help but compare this new female to my fiery ex. And I could easily say that they were completely different. Thank God. This time I was doing it right and sticking with a girl who wouldn’t break my heart.

  I had to get to know the girl better, though, before I asked to court her. Since she wasn’t volunteering to flirt with me any, I guessed I’d have to take the lead.

  I swallowed some of the nervousness and directed a question to Constance. “How do you like Meadowview so far?”

  Since I was looking straight at her, she couldn’t mistake that I’d spoken to her.

  Her eyes brightened, and she boldly took a step closer to me to be heard over the bouncing of the ball and the shouts of the guys on the court.

  “I like it very much.”

  She answered me in English, but her words were a little strained, letting me know that she was more comfortable talking in our birth language, so I changed over to German and pushed on with the conquest.

  “When will you be officially making the move?”

  “Father finalized the house deal two days ago. I think we’ll begin bringing our belongings here next week. Mother wants to be settled before spring planting.”

  Constance’s voice was soft and very girly. She didn’t have that sexy, husky tone that Rose had, but the sound of it was still pleasing. Her lips were shaped like a heart, and at the moment they were tilted up in a grin that made me guess that they would be responsive to a kiss. The direction my thoughts had gone caused a heat to swell in my groin, and I looked away, realizing that maybe Father had been right—possibly, I could be attracted to another girl. At some point during my thoughts, Sarah and Maretta had wandered away, and I found that I was standing alone with Constance. Well, not really alone, as there were more than thirty young people hanging out in various spots either on or around the court, but alone enough to make my stomach tighten.

  I plowed on. “So, ah, do you have a boyfriend back in Indiana?”

  She looked directly at me in an inviting way that reminded me a little of Ella—but without the craziness attached.

  “No, I don’t.” She smiled shyly after she said it and looked away.

  The action did something to my heart, melted it a little, making me feel that this particular girl was special.

  “I’m glad to know it,” I said, catching her gaze just long enough to see hot pink flush her face.

  “I’m Noah, by the way.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the absurdity that we hadn’t even been introduced yet, and I was already set on courting the girl.

  “I know your name. Sarah told me all about you. I’m Constance.”

  “I found out your name also.” Then a thought occurred to me, and I decided to go with it.

  “Did Sarah tell you that I just got out of a relationship that didn’t end well?”

  Constance looked up quickly, showing me a concerned face before she shied away again.

  Rose would have held my gaze until I shifted my eyes.

  “Oh, yes, she told me that you dated an Englisher who wanted to be Amish. But she changed her mind about it and left the community,” Constance whispered, having the good sense not to blast the conversation out loudly.

  I felt relieved that she already knew the story. It was impossible to talk about but something that any girl I got involved with would eventually hear all the sordid details about. I felt more at ease that Constance still held the sweet grin on her blushed face even knowing about my past. That meant I had a chance with her.

  Another thought passed through my mind—had Rose ever blushed? I didn’t think so.

  “Would a nice girl like you be willing to give a guy who’d made such a mess of things a chance?” I asked her quietly, hoping that her answer would be what I expected but still worried that maybe she wasn’t interested. If that were the case, my options here in Meadowview were empty.

  She looked up and held my gaze for the longest time yet. I could see desire in her wide brown eyes. I knew her answer before she spoke and my insides calmed.

  “Yes, I would give you chance, Noah.”

  * * *

  “Are you serious? You just today met her.” Sarah’s mouth was sagging, her eyes bulging.

  I clucked Oscar into a road trot on the straightaway before answering her. The warm day had led into a chilly but clear night. The sky was bright with stars, and the road was free of traffic, all in all a perfect way to end a very good day. I felt better that I’d made my decision, freer in my mind somehow.

  “Listen to me, after having gone through all that with Rose, I now know exactly what I’m looking for in a wife and partner.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “The exact opposite of her,” I said. Seeing Sarah’s look of incredulity, I went on to say, “Constance is Amish. She thinks like an Amish woman, wants the same things in life that I do. She is pure in her beliefs and thoughts.”

  “And you don’t think that Rose was?” Sarah asked in a way that sounded like an argument, but I didn’t let her opinion ruffle me.

  “No. She wasn’t. Rose pretended to want what I did so that she could play around with me long enough to decide that she didn’t want me.” I tried to mask the venom in my voice but probably failed.

  “Oh, I don’t believe that Rose purposely set out to hurt you. It’s just that she couldn’t handle living our ways. Do you really blame her so?”

  I fired back, “Course I do. I loved her with all my heart, and when she had the opportunity to split, she did just that. I’m sure she’s not so pure anymore, dating that football-playing as...” I trailed off, not wanting to offend my s
ister’s ears.

  Sarah’s voice lowered, and she stared at the passing dark fields. “I’m so sorry that you’re hurting and all, but rushing home to ask Father and Mother about a courtship with Constance doesn’t seem like the best thing to do.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  Sarah sat silently for a moment, and I worried that maybe my harsh words had angered her. But then she did speak.

  “I worry that you’re going to hurt Constance in the end.”

  “What are you talking about? I plan to start courting her and then marry her by the end of this year. She’s a few months older than me so we won’t have to wait long.”

  Why was my sister being so difficult about this? Did she want me to stay a bachelor forever?

  She whispered something that I couldn’t hear over the pounding hooves, forcing me to pull up on the reins. I slowed Oscar to a walk and finally a stop.

  I turned back to Sarah and barked, “What did you say?”

  My timid little sister met my eyes and said with a fierceness that shocked me, “I think that the love you and Rose share is too strong to ever be over. At some time, you’ll want Rose back, and when you do, you won’t stop until you have her—even if it destroys Constance.”

  Her words shook me to the core, raising the bumps on my arms even though I wasn’t cold. But there was some truth to what she said. I would always love Rose, but I was damned determined to make her suffer for what she’d done to me.

  And what better way to do it than to marry another?

  28

  Rose

  It had been the best kind of day. The warmth of Hunter’s arm pressed against mine as the movie images flashed on the big screen. I wasn’t really paying much mind to the show, though; I was thinking about the fun ride I’d had that morning with the other girls at the barn.

  The mounted drill team that my trainer, Sandra, had created was amazing. Riding the horses to music at a gallop was a real blast, and I couldn’t wait until springtime when we’d have our first intermission performance at the local horse show. Lady enjoyed moving to the beat, and I was surprised at how well she accepted being crammed in tight beside the other horses as we executed the difficult maneuvers.