Belonging Read online

  A flurry of emotion passed over her conflicted face before she finally relented, saying, “What about Rose?”

  I looked around at all the scrambling kids scurrying to their buses, hoping she’d get the hint, before I said, “We can’t talk here. Let’s go to my truck.”

  “No way—you talk here, now and quick or you lose your chance.” She crossed her arms over her jacket, tilting her body slightly so that the icy wind didn’t catch her in the face.

  Okay, it wasn’t the most suitable place to talk a girl into forgiving a guy, but I’d make the best of it.

  “I was doing Rose a favor by helping my dad to get her out that Amish craziness.” Seeing that her puckered expression didn’t change at all, I barreled on. “Look, Rose is having a great time in Cincinnati. She’s been shopping with my aunt and hanging out with her old friends and my little brother. She wanted a way out—she needed it. You know yourself that she didn’t have any business joining up with that nonsense.”

  The crowd was thinning, but I hardly even noticed, I was so intent on the beautiful girl looking up at me with utter hatred in her eyes.

  “You are the worst kind of person, Sam—a traitor. You sold out your own sister because you didn’t like what she wanted to do with her life. She wasn’t hurting herself. I thought this was what we fought those stupid British people for, to have the freedom to live our lives the way we see fit. You are a prejudiced pig—and you better stay away from me from now on. I’m not interested!”

  Her words were like a slap to the face. Damn it to hell, I’d really done myself in this time. By doing what I had to do to wake my brainwashed sister and hopefully bring some normalcy to our family once again, I had thrown away my chances with the only girl that I’d ever really liked.

  Standing there on the sidewalk in the whipping air, I watched the buses leave in a long, orange train.

  And the only person who could get me out of this pinch was the one person on the planet who’d probably rather cut out her own eyeballs than help me.

  24

  Rose

  I must admit, I’d missed people-watching at the mall. Taking a sip of my cola, my eyes wandered over the food court, checking out everything from one girl’s hip hairdo, to the tattoos running down the arm of an otherwise nerdy-looking guy.

  Snapping me out of my transfixion was Amanda’s irritated voice. “Really, Rose, you’re like a zombie to hang out with now.”

  Letting my gaze settle on the gorgeous blonde sitting across the table from me, I snorted. “Hey, I was perfectly happy to stay locked up in the house, but noooo, you had to drag me out on this boring ‘adventure.’”

  Amanda’s head tilted, and a spark flashed across her features, deepening the frown on her face. I’d definitely pissed her off, but I didn’t really care much. After all, she was just one of my jailers now—another person who wouldn’t let me use their phone to contact Noah.

  “I would’ve thought that living with the mild country people would have taken you down a notch. Instead, you’re a bigger bitch than ever.”

  I was so numb that her words hardly registered. When I lifted my eyes to her glinting ones, Amanda blasted on, “You are pathetic. You’ve got family members, and friends, who love you, and are all going out of their way to please you, keep you occupied, and all you do is whine and moan like a spoiled baby.” Tough love coming from Amanda was not a good thing. During the three weeks that I’d been back to convenience-land, she’d listened to me, cried with me and cussed at my family with me.

  I guess she was over it all now and just wanted to move on and get back to normal.

  One of my favorite songs began to play in Amanda’s purse, and she quickly answered her cell. She abruptly rose and left the table to have the secret conversation away from my ears. I briefly wondered who she was talking to and then dismissed the phone call entirely, not really caring.

  Honestly, I didn’t care about much these days. I’d barely spoken to Aunt Debbie and Uncle Jason during the holidays, and it was impossible to settle down with Dad and Sam hanging around, pretending that all was right with the world. And they thought the Amish were crazy.

  In just a few days I’d be back to my old high school, walking the halls and sitting at proper desks with qualified teachers looking over my shoulder. To say that my mind wasn’t ready for it was an understatement.

  I couldn’t believe that Christmas and New Year’s had passed and I still hadn’t heard from Noah. But of course, was I stupid? If I couldn’t get a call into him, how the heck would he get a hold of me? He didn’t know my aunt’s phone number or address, and all the letters I’d tried to get out so far had been intercepted by my aunt who seemed to have an agreement with the postal service.

  Still, when I’d lain awake in the dark each night staring out the window at the stars, I’d imagined all kinds of scenarios where Noah would track me down in the suburbs and rescue me as if we were in a fairy tale.

  What was Noah thinking? My sudden disappearance must have crushed him. I knew that Ruth was torn up about it, and I was sure the Miller family would feel the same way. The picture of Suzanna’s mischievous face beside Miranda’s wispy one materialized, blocking out the bright lights of the food court for a moment, and I got a little choked up. I knew I’d miss Noah horribly, but I wasn’t banking on my weepy feelings about the rest of the Amish people to whom I’d become close.

  And then there was Summer. Besides Noah, I probably missed her the most.

  Seeing that Amanda was still distracted with her animated phone call, my mind started to wake up, and I judged the distance to the pay phone outside the restrooms. I wouldn’t have much time to make a call, that was for sure, but Summer would have her phone on her and she’d definitely answer it. I looked at the slender blue watch wrapped around my wrist, realizing that I’d learned to appreciate the small convenience immensely.

  It was almost five, a good time to get a hold of my redheaded friend.

  With a speeding heart, I stood up and casually made my way through the tables to the trash cans. Once I’d dumped the contents of my tray, I glanced back at Amanda to verify that she was still occupied.

  She was gone.

  Popping from behind me came her voice, which I noticed was more pleasant than when she’d left the table.

  “Hey, girl, guess what?”

  Her over-perkiness immediately put me in defensive mode.

  “What now?”

  “Sam just pulled into the parking lot with Heath and some other buddy of his that he brought from Meadowview,” she said happily.

  Whether her good mood was because she was hooking up with her main squeeze or she had some diabolical plan arranged with Sam was anybody’s guess.

  “And that’s supposed to be a good thing?” I demanded. Irritation washed over me—for the first time in weeks I had the opportunity to use a phone, and Sam showed up to ruin my chance.

  “Yeah, it’ll be fun for us all to hang out together. Just like old times,” Amanda said, ignoring me and searching the entry doors.

  I knew when they walked into the building it would be hard to miss them. High school football players were like that; they commanded attention when they went out in public.

  “What about Brittany? Maybe you should call her if you’re interested in a reunion,” I suggested.

  Usually Amanda and Brittany were inseparable, so when Amanda said, “No,” like a bullet out of a shotgun, I became doubly suspicious.

  She went on to cover her tracks by saying, “Aw, she’s babysitting her niece tonight, so there’s no reason to even invite her. It would just bum her out.”

  A minute later I understood Amanda’s pushy behavior. Strolling in through the glass doors was Sam. On one side of the Benedict Arnold was the tall, good-looking Heath, and on the other side was the equally tall Hunter Braxton.

  What was he doing here?

  Catching his very happy smile to see me, I realized that he’d probably come all the way to Cincinnati wit
h Sam just to piss me off. Hadn’t Sam already learned not to play matchmaker with me?

  Before I could escape, the athletes had reached us, and a second later Amanda was nestled under Heath’s arm.

  Before any of them could say a word, I blurted out, “You should have called Brittany.” I jerked my thumb toward Hunter. “They would be perfect together.”

  Amanda’s eyes widened, but before she could produce a comeback, her boyfriend swatted me on the shoulder in a friendly way that almost put me off balance. “Hey, it’s good to see you, kiddo—it’s been a while.”

  “Oh, shut up.” I was not going to act like everything was perfect, because it definitely wasn’t. They were all keeping me from my Noah—and my life.

  The guys had the good sense not to say a word, all shuffling around on their feet uncomfortably, but Amanda didn’t have that qualm. “You are out of line, Rose....”

  Before Amanda got too many words out, Heath jumped in and said, “Come on, I want to go look at those sneaks.” He tugged Amanda away from me.

  “Some things never change. Honey drips from your mouth, Rose,” Sam said sarcastically as he waited for me to follow his partners in crime.

  I hadn’t talked to him in the weeks since I’d been exiled to the city. I knew it bugged him more than me barking out catchy comebacks, so I turned and stalked along behind Heath and Amanda, who both would turn at intervals to check if I was still with them. And I thought the Amish were single-minded.

  When the happy couple turned into the athletic shoe store, I made a beeline for the bench centered in the middle of the marble-floored hallway. Sam followed on my heels, squeezing in beside me to make room for Hunter.

  Sam’s voice was overly nonchalant when he said, “So...have you talked to Summer lately?”

  That did it.

  I rounded on him and let my fury fly. “I would have talked to her a bunch of times by now, but wait a minute, let me think. Oh, yeah, I’m on phone arrest. I can’t touch them, talk on them or even look at them. So how the hell would I have talked to the girl that you’re stalking?”

  He actually looked confused for a second. He even pushed his fingers into his bushy mess of hair to scratch his head.

  “Oh, yeah” was all he managed before Heath called from the store’s doorway.

  “Hey, Sam, come check these out.” Heath was holding up a pair of hideous giant black-and-orange sneakers.

  “Just a sec.” Sam glanced at me with the look of a guy deciding whether he needed to drag me into the store to keep an eye on me—or if he’d get away with not making a scene and leaving me sitting on the bench.

  Hunter must have been thinking the same thing, because he said, “Hey, bro, if she makes a run for it, I’ll catch her.”

  My head darted toward Hunter, but he didn’t look at me. He should have been afraid to, because I was ready to knock him out.

  Sam glanced between the two of us and, after nodding to himself, took the few steps needed to enter the store.

  Hunter’s voice lowered to a whisper. “Hey, you can use my phone.”

  It took a second to register what he’d said. I turned and really looked at him and was surprised to see an anxious, yet serious expression on his face.

  “Really—you’d do that for me?” I glanced into the store just in time to see the posse heading straight for us.

  “No way now,” I mumbled, slouching down on the bench in defeat.

  Amanda eased down next to me and squeezed my knee. She was trying to patch things up, and I would have been more than willing to be buddy-buddy again if she’d just lighten up and let me use her damn phone.

  What I heard Hunter say next nearly dropped me on the floor.

  “Rose and I are going to check out the sporting goods store. She likes to ski, too, so we’re going to see if any of the gear is on sale.” His voice sounded so believable and casual that for an instant I got heated until it reached my dumb brain that he was setting up a rendezvous for me to use his phone.

  Sam frowned a bit and was about to say something, but I’d never know what, because Amanda piped up first. “Oh, that’s a cool idea. You two go check it out. Heath didn’t eat a bite tonight, so we’re heading back to the food court.” She paused and looked straight at me for a second. “Meet up with us there when you’re ready. Okay?”

  Heath wasn’t shocked and went with the flow. I doubted he was hungry at all. Sam just looked conflicted, as if his brain was trying to wake up.

  I didn’t give my oaf of a brother the opportunity to figure it out. “Will do— See you guys later.”

  I turned swiftly and headed in the direction of the store we were supposed to be going to. I did enjoy skiing, but the slopes were the furthest thing from my mind.

  Hunter fell in easily beside me, matching my stride comfortably. I glanced up at him, and when he caught me spying, he smiled tentatively for a second before focusing on the oncoming traffic. I still fidgeted inwardly that he had his own agenda, and I might end up in worse shape by trusting him, but there was something about the way he had offered his cell to me and then so easily lied for my benefit that made me want to trust him. I needed any and all allies I could get at this crisis point in my life.

  We walked through the mall, moving together to avoid mowing down any patrons, and I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at Hunter every few stores. His dark blondish hair hung loosely on his head, all the strands flowing to the right side. He was tall and athletically built, like Sam and Noah. But he was more slender than they were, moving like a tawny mountain lion stalking his territory.

  When he glanced down at me, I quickly looked away.

  “I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time how sorry I am for the way I treated you that night at the party. I was drunk...and way out of line.” He paused, looking away briefly to turn his head back to me with searching eyes. “I hope you can forgive me. I don’t touch the stuff anymore—quit that very same night.”

  I struggled to keep from rolling my eyes. The guy didn’t give up easily. But I was fairly certain that if I told him that I’d rather jump into a bathtub filled with snakes than forgive him, he’d turn around and leave with his cell phone. It was nice of him to accept responsibility for being a jerk, but honestly, I didn’t care much either way. I just wanted the phone.

  Sucking in a breath and avoiding his gaze, I breathed out, “It’s all right, really. I’m over it. We’re okay.”

  He was silent for a minute, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he held a slight smile on his lips. When he spoke again, I was surprised by the change of subject.

  “Have you ever skied?” Hunter asked as we turned into the sporting goods store.

  I was distracted for a few seconds by the fake waterfall surrounded by plaster boulders, a prize eight-point buck poking out from the plastic foliage and the black bear rearing back on its hind legs to angrily greet us.

  Tearing my eyes away from the store decorations, I answered, “I love to ski.”

  Hunter slowed and grasped my arm, saying excitedly, “Hey, do you want to go to Perfect North Slopes with me next weekend? I usually take my snowboard, but I’m going to check out the skis here and maybe upgrade from my old ones.”

  It was more information than I needed or wanted. But still, the fact that he was the only person around at the moment willing to help me out did sink into my anti-Hunter brain, making my voice come out sweet. “Maybe...I’ll have to check it out with my aunt first.”

  His mouth rounded for a second, then widened into a broad smile. His hand still rested warmly on my arm, and I glanced down to remind him about it, but he left it there. I fought within myself about what I should do about his show of familiarity. I didn’t want to ruin my chances at getting an escape driver lined up—but leading the guy on was a no-no also.

  He pulled out his phone, making me forget his hand. As I went to grab it, he lifted it up to a height that I’d have to stretch for it.

  Irritation swatted at my skin while
I stared at the phone. Although, Hunter’s hand had lowered a fraction, I’d still have a difficult time making a grab for it.

  He took a breath and opened his mouth to speak. I cussed in my head several times before he found his words.

  “You know, I’ve wished for a long time that you and I could be friends, get past everything that went down last year. I really do like you and want you to be happy.” He paused, and I heard the but coming before it passed his lips. “But, maybe you shouldn’t go jumping back into the Amish lifestyle so quick. I mean, you need to give everyone else a chance to change your mind about it before you do anything drastic. You’re an amazing girl. I’m sure you don’t want to live with that kind of regret. For your own peace of mind, you should be absolutely certain that becoming Amish is what you want.”

  It was as if the edges of my hostility were instantly smoothed, becoming softer. The words floated around in the air, and even though there was a steady stream of people dividing around us, I felt very much alone with Hunter in that busy doorway. His wide-spaced greenish eyes were flecked with brown, and they stared at me intensely.

  He was right. I should be absolutely certain that it was worth it to become Amish to be with Noah. I knew firsthand now what I’d be giving up if I left my world for his. But it wasn’t so much what he said that affected me—it’s what he didn’t say. Hunter didn’t tell me it was wrong or stupid to become Amish. He simply said that I should make sure that it’s what I really wanted before I did it. He believed that it was my choice.

  Flustered, I looked off into the camo clothing, my eyes landing on a heavy brown coat adorned with leaves, and said, “Oh, don’t you go cramming advice down my throat, too.”

  He laughed. “You’re safe with me. Really, I’m not going to judge you or tell you what to do. I just want your friendship—that’s all.”

  He handed me the phone, brushing his thumb over my hand before he turned away, blending into the crowd.

  The phone was cool in my hand. As my heart sparked into a frenzy, I made my way into the arctic clothing department and hid close to an overflowing rack of puffed-out ski jackets. Then I dialed Noah’s number.